How Motherhood and Barrenness Affect African Women
Nothing brings joy to an African woman more than the ability to have children. Culture has solidified the expectation of every woman in that once someone gets married; the next thing is pregnancy and birth of a baby. Failure of this natural progression brings so much anguish, shame and despair to the family but much more to the woman affected.
The ability to have children is a gift from God but it feels more like a right of every African woman. It is the ultimate goal of every African marriage. Culture frowns on a woman who fails to conceive within the first two years of marriage. To the African woman, the scent of motherhood beckons at the altar, when she walks down that isle or go through the traditional marriage ceremony. Any signs of barrenness bring so much pressure to bear.
Women have been subjected to ridicule; they have been branded witches, they have consulted spirit mediums, witch-doctors and faith healers in a bid to have the curse of barrenness removed. A lot of women have died from taking concoctions of unknown ingredients, both bitter and sweet all in an effort to treat the condition. Some have been made to wash in crocodile infested rivers and to gulp gallons of holy water all in the hope of cleaning the blocked fallopian tubes.
Some men do not take kindly to what seems to be a delay in producing a son, an heir for the family name. Such men, under pressure from their families and relatives have either abandoned their wives outright or married second wives, or worse still maintained a concubine on the side. These concubines have earned the nickname-small house. These small houses do not hesitate to produce the needed child for these men in the full knowledge that the men are married. Doing this seems to seal the fate of the woman who could not reproduce on time. She has to put up with sharing her husband with another woman and loses her place of respect and a voice in the home.
It is quite interesting to note that even in Biblical times; women who were barren were subjected to the same agony and shame as happens to the African woman of today. One example is that of Abraham’s wife, Sarah, who most probably under pressure resorted to giving her maid, Hagar, to bear a son for Abraham. Hagar ridiculed Sarah but fortunately Abraham loved her regardless (Genesis 16:1-6). Rachel, the wife of Jacob also endured years of despair and agony due to barrenness (Genesis 30:1). She witnessed her sister and co-wife to Jacob, give birth to six children and also her husband’s concubines had four children amongst them and yet she had none. Her sister mocked her and she felt less of a woman. A third example is that of Hannah the mother of Samuel, who suffered shame and ridicule at the hands of society and her husband’s second wife, Penninah. She was so tormented that she could not eat for days (1 Samuel 1:2-8).
However, in all the three Biblical cases cited above, the women who were previously condemned as barren ended up bearing children at the intervention of God. This is quite sobering to note that, God had a plan for each of the women and the children they later had. This supports the assertion made at the beginning that the ability to have children is a gift from God. For instance, Sarah had a child at the age of ninety years and this is a miracle as scientifically this cannot happen (Genesis 21:1-2). Rachel had her barrenness reversed and she had Joseph at a time when all hope was lost (Genesis 30:22-24).Hannah had her situation reversed after she had pleaded with God for a child (1 Samuel 1:20) and she had six other children after that.
It is therefore necessary for women who find themselves at the receiving end of barrenness and shame, to lean on God and have faith that he can also reverse their situation. Rather than take matters into their own hands, they should wait on God and trust him to reverse their situation. It is also important for husbands and families to support the barren woman and realise that it is not her will or intention but the will of God that she is barren at that time. Culture needs to be revamped in order to take into account nature and situations beyond one’s control.
