Marriage: Blessing or a Curse?

Marriage otherwise known as matrimony from a conventional scrutiny ought to be an everlasting union between a man and a woman. It is not wine to be tasted as it is often the case. Normally, it is the man who will seek the hand of a woman in order to tie the nuptial knot. How ever, few instances have equally been recorded where by women who may be fast eroded by age will not hesitate to propose to a man who they presuppose can best deliver the goods. Therefore, there is a point in a man’s life that if he does not run after a woman, a woman will run after him.

Marriage can take the form of monogamy implying one man marrying one wife or the opposite which is polygamy which is often misinterpreted in the African context to mean only one man marrying many wives. The question beckoning for an answer is if monogamy implies one man getting married only to one woman and vice versa, what makes us feel that polygamy gives only the man the right to marry many wives? Don’t we sense that by adopting such a crafty meaning the woman folk is being deprived of her rights to equally go in for many husbands? It is not because a particular culture is not practiced within a community that the meaning of polygamy should be distorted. Polygamy embodies polygyny which means only the man has the right to marry more than one wife and polyandry gives only the woman the right to go in for more than one husband. The fact is that polygamy gives equal rights for the husband and wife to go in for multiple partners. Hence if only the man wants to go in for many wives, he should go in for polygyny and not polygamy.

It is important to note here that a woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. A wife is different from a girl friend. A girl friend will set a house for a man where as a wife will set a home. A woman will marry a man thinking that she will change him only to realize that the man will not change where as a man will marry a woman thinking that she will not change only to discern that she has changed. He who marries might regret and he who does not marry will regret.

Marriage, as a blessing is better experienced than defined. It is usually characterized by a lot of endurance, dialogue, tolerance and maturity in the way problems are addressed. At times they may or may not be blessed with kids yet are still very happy. The value of marriage is not that adults may produce children but that children may produce adults if possible. There is that inner euphoria within the couple which they may like it to manifest in the form of thanks giving in the church or anniversary celebration of their matrimony. A happy man is he who marries the woman he loves. A happier man is he who loves the woman he marries. Marriage should be a duet; when one sings, the other claps. Marriage partners who possess the same religious convictions and philosophy of life have in their hands the master key to marital happiness.

As a nuisance, ask a man who has divorced with the wife after ten years of wedlock. Proviso you do not know what it means to have gravel in your shoe, dare not. Absence of dialogue, tolerance and endurance usually characterize such marriages. The couple is a radio to the environs. That will be the time when the man will recall that during courtship, he was talking and the woman was listening. During their honeymoon, the woman was talking and he was listening. Now that they are under the same roof both of them have to talk and neighbors will listen.They will love to watch their wedding cassette in a reverse direction. Instead of the man putting the wedding ring on the finger of the woman, the man will love to watch how he is instead removing the ring from the finger of the woman and vice versa. They are thus heading towards a catastrophe which is divorce to prove that wedlock is wine to be tasted which is not so. What annoys much are the vows they exchanged before a large crowd to stay together till death do part them. Such couples could learn a lesson from the buttocks; though in constant friction with one another, they are still always together. It should equally be noted here that no matter how often a man quarrels with the wife, he does not do so towards the hours leading to bed time.

Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future. A woman holds the key to any peaceful marriage. It is only through tolerance that husband and wife can be together. With patience, most problems solve themselves. Wisdom in a man, patience in a woman brings peace in the house and a happy life. Love is an ocean entirely surrounded by expenses. We blame others only in faults that we do not benefit for mankind is by nature selfish. Bad things are easily remembered than good ones. Some people find life an empty dream because they put nothing into it.

Yesterday is already a dream and tomorrow is only a vision but today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness and every tomorrow a vision of hope. A husband is he who has lost his liberty in the pursuit of happiness. The secret of happiness is freedom and the secret of freedom is courage. There is a time in life when we must firmly choose the course we will follow or the relentless drift of events will decide for us. Some folks bring happiness when ever they come; others when ever they go.