Parents Backed for Telling Pregnant Daughter They Wouldn’t Help Raise Child

In a new viral post, the internet has defended a mother and father after they told their daughter they wouldn’t be helping her raise her child.

Published to Reddit’s popular r/AmITheA**hole forum, a woman under the username u/BadGrandmother explains her story as the “AITA” community shares their opinions. The viral post has over 10,000 upvotes and 1,000 comments.

The original poster (OP) began her story by explaining that her daughter “Kelly” became pregnant at the age of 16. Kelly decided that she wanted to keep the baby and of course, the OP and husband, “Eddy,” were helpful with taking care of the baby, “Opal.” Opal is now 16 and Kelly is 33.

She wrote: “We helped a lot as Kelly was only seventeen when Opal was born. However, Kelly would rarely help with parenting even when she was available. Even asking her to watch Opal for an hour while we ran errands was an issue. It was rare that Kelly wouldn’t complain about why she “had to be there” to look after Opal.”

“Kelly chose not to attend college after graduation. She had a job with a flexible schedule, yet she rarely made herself available for Opal. Kelly was only home to sleep or get dressed for some party. She also relied on us to purchase supplies and book appointments for Opal. Eddy and I would have serious talks with Kelly that she needed to step up as a parent. Kelly would only make empty promises and never follow through on them,” she continued.

According to the American Society for the Positive Care of Children, it can be estimated that over 6 million children live with one grandparent in the United States.

When Opal was 6, Kelly moved out and rarely came to visit her daughter. The OP wrote that Opal is doing great in school, plays sports and has great friends. She also plans on being a marine biologist when she graduates high school.

In celebration of school being over for Opal and her receiving good grades, the entire family went out for dinner. Kelly came along, as well as other family members. Everything was going well until Kelly announced that she was pregnant.

The OP and her husband believed this to be inappropriate as the dinner was supposed to celebrate Opal. Kelly said that she and her boyfriend were “so busy with life.”

The OP explained: “Eddy and I interrupted Kelly and told her we would have nothing to do with raising this new baby and would not be providing anything for it (supplies, childcare, etc.). Kelly flipped out and an argument ensued.”

“Kelly called us heartless and claimed we were willing to throw our grandchild away. Eddy and I called her selfish for expecting us to raise another child. We are too old to raise a baby. Kelly is thirty-three and needs to grow up. Give the baby up for adoption or be a parent and raise it yourself. Kelly left in tears. Now the family has broken into ‘sides,'” she continued.

Some family members believe the OP and Eddy are to blame, as they “don’t care” about their new grandchild and others are saying they should have spoken to Kelly privately, as it was rude to start an argument in front of everyone.

Many Reddit users defended the parents in the comment section.

“I think you are NTA,” u/LauraBabora325 wrote, receiving the top comment with over 10,000 upvotes, “Kelly is a deadbeat mother. How does Opal feel about this? Opal was pushed aside by her own mother & ignored. & Now her mom is going out & starting a new family with another guy. But what happened to Opal & her mother’s relationship? It’s nonexistent. You were blunt with Kelly. Good. She deserves a kick in the behind.”

“100% NTA how are they 33 and didn’t even take care of their first child and expect you to do the same? it’s time for her to grow and accept the reality she is making for herself,” u/XcassielX said.

U/thirdtryisthecharm exclaimed, “NTA. You adopted Opal because at the time your daughter was a teenager without the life skills or independence to raise a child on her own. Kelly is now fully an adult and should not need or expect the same level of support that she got at 17.”

“NTA AT ALL. Your daughter is an entitled a**hole and I feel so sorry for Opal and her new baby. I’m glad Opal had you but please don’t enable Kelly’s behavior any longer. She needs to realize she’s an adult. She can’t have her cake and eat it too. Either be a parent or stop having kids,” u/Star1014light commented.

“NTA in my opinion. I think you were ok doing what you did after she hijacked your granddaughters celebration, shame on her. Another life brought into the world for everyone else to take care of … what a shame,” u/Isabi1025 said.

Newsweek reached out to u/BadGrandmother for comment.